


David deals with Matteo's radio silence

by Ruunya



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, High School, M/M, Relationship(s), Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 06:50:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18655165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruunya/pseuds/Ruunya
Summary: David hasn't heard from Matteo since he told him he was transgender. The radio silence was taking its toll on David. "David’s body had been wracked with nerves all weekend and now, walking through the quiet school hallways, he was completely overcome with exhaustion."





	David deals with Matteo's radio silence

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to listen to what people were saying about not framing Matteo’s acceptance as a romantic gesture. I hope I did it justice.

It had been three days since David last saw or heard from Matteo. After the first 48 hours his hopes had slowly begun to fade.

David’s body had been wracked with nerves all weekend and now, walking through the quiet school hallways, he was completely overcome with exhaustion. He had barely been able to concentrate in his exam that morning. All he could think about was how vulnerable he had made himself and how badly things could go for him now.

He had opened himself up to Matteo, and in the process, put himself in a potentially dangerous position. What if Matteo told someone? What if he told everyone?

David had promised himself not to tell anyone when he started at his new school. For one thing - it was none of their damn business. But mostly, he just couldn’t bear to put himself through it all again - the bullying, the harassment, the thinly veiled comments from teachers, being shunned by those he had called friends. He had promised himself a new start, a place where he could entirely be himself, with no fear, no judgement, and no-one second guessing his every move.

Then he had met Matteo. He hadn’t expected to fall so hard and so fast, but there were times when he couldn’t even stop himself. Like in the swimming pool, that first kiss… He had no idea what he was doing, just that his body demanded to be closer and closer to Matteo’s. Where had all that confidence come from? He had no idea.

But he did know that his feelings for Matteo weren’t going away any time soon. And so he had taken the bravest step he had taken in a long time, since the last time he walked out his parents’ house. He had laid himself bare in front of Matteo. Told him everything.

And he hadn’t heard one word from him since.

They hadn’t known each other long but David knew that Matteo was inherently good. He didn’t always say the right things or think things through, but there was a vulnerability within him - a deep sense that he wanted to do right by people. David got the impression that sometimes Matteo’s head got so loud and it seemed to take all his energy just to quieten the voices.

David knew that Matteo was good. He knew that Matteo meant well - that he wouldn’t be trying to hurt him on purpose.

But standing in the middle of the empty school, which still felt so raw and new to him, none of his reasoning about Matteo mattered a damn. All he could feel was pain and the overwhelming loneliness that had followed him ever since he had begun this journey.

What kind of fucking world were they living in when a person’s gender could put a question mark over whether you loved them or not?

Anger itched under David’s skin, and gradually it grew into a burning sensation. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He needed to get out of this fucking place. He couldn’t wait until he never had to set foot in another school again.

David pulled his jacket tighter around him and headed for the exit. He swore as a tear managed to escape his right eye and made a run for it down his cheek. His vision began to blur as more tears joined the escape party. He was turning the corner and furiously wiping then away when he collided with something. Something in an oversized hoodie, with messy blonde hair and the most clueless expression.

For a moment David forgot why he was crying. Despite all his fears and anger, he had missed Matteo so desperately and just the sight of him seemed to soothe a part of him.

But then it all came rushing back. All the anger. He watched as Matteo just stood there - his lips twitching as if searching for words, but nothing came out. David clenched his jaw. Did Matteo have nothing to say to him? Maybe David had been naïve to even open up in the first place.

David swallowed, “I guess if you don’t have anything to say to me… I should go.” Matteo’s face dropped, he looked panicked but he continued to say nothing.

David looked down at the ground and then started to move past Matteo. He needed out of this place. He needed air.

He was out the front door and half way through the school grounds when he finally heard his own name.

“David! David, bitte.”

David stopped and slowly turned to see Matteo running towards him. There was so much panic and desperation sewn through his expression. It tugged at David’s heart.

“David, I am so sorry,” Matteo tried to catch his breath (was he really that unfit?) “I should’ve sent you a message, or called, or come to your door. Anything. I should’ve - ”

David nodded and bit his lip, the bitterness still present on his tongue. “Yes. You should have.”

Matteo’s mouth hung open as he desperately searched David’s eyes. Was Matteo afraid that he had lost him? The thought sent a small pang through David’s chest.

Matteo took a deep breath, “I know you must be hurt. I know I was stupid. And I’m sorry, I am so so sorry. It’s just that… I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I wanted to learn more about it. I didn’t want to come across as insensitive or - ”

“You should’ve just asked me!” David gasped, surprising even himself. But he pushed on, quieter this time, “You could’ve… You _can_ ask me your questions. I know it’s all new to you and I get that. But this is my life. And your radio silence…” David bit his lip harder, “it terrified me”.

Matteo was speechless. He stood there, mouth gaping once more. And then for a brief moment, David thought he saw Matteo start to shut down… to go non-verbal. He’d seen it happen before and he was so scared that it would happen now.

But it didn’t. Matteo stopped swaying, he closed his mouth, and he seemed to grow more present.

He made sure he had David’s gaze before he began to speak, “I wish I had acted differently, I wish I had spoken to you sooner. I wish I hadn’t left you with any doubts about how I feel about you.” David’s chest ached.

“I can’t change how I acted or what I did and didn’t say. What I can promise you is that I will do better, I will be better. I want to know you, everything about you - not just what it means to be trans, but whether Hozier really is your favourite singer, and why you draw yourself as a vampire.” David let out a short laugh. Matteo allowed himself a small smile “I want to know who you are.”

A thought struck David. Something that had been nagging at him. He didn’t want to push Matteo away but he had to say it. “You know… you accepting me for being trans… there’s nothing romantic about it. It’s not like… a grand gesture - ”

Matteo nodded and jumped in “I get it, honestly I get it… I know I’m not always going to get everything right. But,” he chewed on his bottom lip, “I really want to try.” The way Matteo looked at him was so raw and honest. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around him and squeeze him tight.

Instead he gestured towards a nearby bench, and gave Matteo a small smile. “Do you want to ask me some questions?”

Matteo gave a flushed half-smile back, the relief etched all over his face. “Can we start with the vampire thing? Because seriously I can’t figure that out.”


End file.
